Who's Discipling Your Children?

True or False: The primary context of discipleship for our children is the church.

If you're like most people then you are likely to answer that the statement above is "true".  However, in my mind, you'd be wrong (or, at least, not totally right...I hate telling people they are wrong) ;-).

Think about it; how many hours a week on average does a typical "churched" child spend at church?  It has to be fewer than five, right? And, honestly, it is likely closer to two or three hours-per-week.  Let's say it is five hours-per-week.  That is less than 3% of a child's time.  Is that really good enough?  Are we really counting on the 3% of our children's time to develop them into 100% devoted followers of Jesus Christ?  And let's be honest, at least half of the time our children are at church is spent consuming pounds of Goldfish crackers, coloring in Joseph's coat, or running laps around the sanctuary.  Hey, all that stuff is fun, I'm just not convinced that it's going to keep our kids committed to the Lord.

The church is a context for the discipleship of our children (i.e. the teaching of our children to love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength and to obey His commandments), but it is not the primary context.  So, what is, "Pastor Smartypants"?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

The primary context of discipleship for children is the family.  The Bible, especially the Old Testament, repeatedly reminds the family of the critical responsibility to teach the commandments of God to the next generation (Deut. 6:7; Prov. 22:6; Joel 1:3; Eph. 6:1-4; et. al.).  My role as "father" to Gabbie, Luke, and Jonah is very similar to my calling as "pastor" of my church.  I am called to love them by feeding and protecting them both physically and spiritually.  I am to set a godly example for them to follow, modeling for them a sincere and genuine devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ.  I am to personally feed upon the rich truths of God's Word and then share these truths with them.  In short, I am to serve them out of the divine enabling of God's Spirit within me.  This can be (and IS) hard stuff, especially due to the busyness and distractions of life.  But, isn't it worth it?

Listen, there's no doubt that the church also serves a critical role in our children's discipleship.  In fact, the church itself is to be a "family" where mutual encouragement and growth in Christ takes places.  The church is to be a caring community that "grows up" into conformity to Christ.  The church is strategically given by God to support (equip) parents for the discipling of their children, especially in those aspects that are inherently "corporate".  I'd (strongly) argue that the church has an essential role in the proper spiritual formation of of children.

Still, too many children are suffering from a lack of careful, purposeful discipleship from their parents.  Simply carrying your children to "get more of Jesus" at church isn't enough.  As parents, we have the joyful (and terrifying) responsibility of telling our children how wonderful God is.  We are to take the lead in showing our children what love for God looks like.  There should be no greater influence in our kids' lives than we are.  That includes friends, social media, school, and church.  Who is discipling your children?  Well, I hope you are.  I'm reminded here of 3 John 4 which says, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."  Maybe I'm pushing the application a bit out of context, but you get the point!

Here is a good link to an article on this topic.  What do you think about this?  What ideas or suggestions do you have for others who want to "step up" their ministry in their children's lives?

Here are some things that we do and have found helpful at "leading our children to love the Lord" (Let me gave a HUGE "shout out" to Laurie for being so faithful in this area!):

• Spend time reading the Bible each night, if possible.  There are many great children's Bibles available that have colorful and creative pictures which enhance the stories of Scripture.
• Memorize Bible verses together as a family.  You'd be surprised just how much your little ones can soak in.
• "Do ministry" as a family at church or in the community.  Your kids will never forget the lessons they learn by watching you and serving beside you.
• Unplug a few nights a week after dinner and play games, read, or listen to music together as a family.  Sometimes just being together leads to great opportunities for discipleship!
• Pray with your children....and not just at supper!  Your children need you to teach them how to communicate with God.
• Start an "I-Spy" journal where you record times and ways that your family has seen God at work.  This could be a great tool for encouragement in difficult times or even used at Thanksgiving.
• Participate in a strong, family-oriented church ministry like "Super Sundays" at New Beginnings BFC. This ministry is uniquely designed to help families grow closer to God and to one another.